I tried to read my friends list to catch up, but you faggots are so borin I probly find more innerestin shit if I go in my fuckin fridge and read the backa the fuckin orange juice carton. NO PRESERVATIVES! NOT FROM CONCENTRATE! VITAMIN C! See, Im already more fuckin entertained.
Trade deadlines comin up. I dont think you fuckers like me any moren I like you these days, but I dont expect to be movin. Whod pick me up? All the teams suicidal enough to like my pitchin are too poor to pay the STUDLY FARNSWORTH CONTRACT. I guess I could waive somea it or restructure or somethin, but Id hafta REALLY want outta NY, and someoned hafta be REAL innerested.
I still wont never unnerstand how Torre could use Proc the way he did, an turn around an use me the way he did. An dont say nothin bout ERA or numbers or some shit, cause Im talkin bout from the very starta the season, an Im talkin bout a guy wit GOOD numbers (I mean Scotty, fuckers), an usin him the surest way to ruin his arm. It was like bein back on the Cubbies, where every pitcher was on the path to bein destroyed bit by fuckin bit.
Lets say, what borin-ass shit can I put in here to make all you losers happy. O, the other day, Ty caught a mouse. Fuck knows where it came from. She took it inside an ate the back end and left the front end as a present for me, so I woke up in the mornin an looked at the pillow next to me an there was a little mouse head and little mouse front legs and the resta it was jus a mess o red intestines and shit. Pretty fuckin badass. The pillowcase hadda go thru the wash 4 times before it was clean tho.