Why aint you all postin bout the hot chicks you been fuckin left an right? Whats up wit erryone pretendin to be Mr. Goody Twoshoes 24-7? Why you all such gay-ass pansy homebody lamers? I mean fuck, if you gonna be so fuckin borin you may as well go be a fuckin librarian or a male nurse or somethin where your gentle tender wayz are appreciated by ladies wit their hairs in a bun an no cleavage at all, an leave baseball to the badass motherfuckers who do it up right.
You know what I been doin? I been DRINKIN. I been gettin drunk off my INCREDIBLY HOTT ASS. An I been workin out to keep my STUDLY FARNSWORTH ABS in STUDLY PERFECTION. An when I aint drunk I been HUNTIN. Cause spendin time in the woods where its jus me, a gun, an some lil furry animals that are about to be dead is pretty much where its at right now.
The offseason sux donkey ballsacks (jus like the Red Socks what a coincidence!). Life sux donkey ballsacks right now too but its this bad cause there aint no baseballin goin on. Erryones jus sittin on their asses talkin bout steroids an who been shootin up whos buttcheeks so basically its like the gayest offseason EVER. Fuck this bullshit.
O an the fact that we got a new coach? This is how much I care: . Thats right, NONE. Why the fuck would I care? Torre, Girardi, theyre all the same to me, old dudes who couldnt take THE FARNS in a fight even in their primes who wont pitch THE FARNS now cause theyre fairy twitchlickers who cant handle the studliness of my fastball. Whatever, bitches. So long as it aint Dusty fuckin Baker its OK.
So if youll excuse me, Im gonna go throw a slab o meat I killed myself onto the grill, crack open a big cold beer, and call some hos to come over and get naked. Then Ill feed my cat. Then Ill have sex for 6 hours straight. HOWS THAT FOR A LJ ENTRY MOTHERFUCKERS.